Terrible Vaudeville

I know it’s a weird title. Totally nonsensical, right? Well, just like always, I’m here to extract sense from it.  Let’s play a little game. Look at the initials of the words in the title, then open the dusty dictionary lying on the shelf (Don’t lie to me, it’s been there since god knows when) and look for “vaudeville”. For all the lazy bums who don’t wanna do the simple exercise, vaudeville  is “ A type of entertainment featuring comical and musical acts”. I guess the meaning’s clear now. I’m talking about your favourite pastime, the television (hallelujah, the bulb glows!!)

T.V. for the want of a better term, is said to be a medium of communication. It is medium, yes. It is medium as in “ordinary, mediocre”. Nothing special. And it just passes on that mediocrity to you. Don’t believe me?? Hang on a sec. Remember the last time you had a good game of football with your buddies, or visited that favourite garden of yours? Bought a book to read and read it completely? Looked at that coin collection which you painstakingly built? Tried to write poetry, which you liked to do earlier?? Naaaw. Nope, because you’re now glued to the Idiot box. I believe, T.V. is too much chewing gum for the eyes.  Gooey, sticky, indigestible and turning sour after a while.

Let’s talk about your idols from T.V. Do you honestly believe the shit they show in the daily soaps? The guy you swoon over might be a drug addict in real life. The good girl who routinely makes you cry because of her noble character might be a bitch who routinely beats up her underage maid. The “reality show” which you  dream of entering every single night might not be so real after all. Let’s have a look at the daily soaps. One breakup (no, make that two, three, four,…..n). two years have passed. Now our gal gets married (even that god awful farce of a ceremony lasts for two months). Then the husband dies after a few days, or an old flame returns to torture her (mind you, she HAS to suffer). Then a few more troubles, shedding of tears that could solve India’s water crisis and a few twists later, the series “ends”, only to be restarted with a leap of one century in the character’s lives. Be honest, how many soaps have you seen with this story line? Many, did you say? All? And little do you realize that you’ve lost precious time and gained a few kgs in the process.

Let’s not forget our beloved news channels too. We have certain channels which deliver content that’s funnier than two and a half men (atleast when Charlie sheen was still there). Who in the bluest of the blue hells wants to know which flower did Ravana gift seeta? Or the gateway to hell? We hardly need such popcorn fart thingy news!

Please get this, people. Don’t screw your time. It is stupidvision, where most people look like they have to pretend to be stupid just because their audience is. It’s like talking to a vacuum cleaner; stuff that hardly touches human brain. TV turns made into vegetable (no pun or offence intended). Throw that box outta your room and life. Don’t live some bimbo’s life, you’ve got your own to take care of.