TRUTH....!

Hello!!!!  Is someone happy around here? Can anyone show me what real laughter is? Why? For what? Why do we have to disagree with everyone around us, or we disagree with ourselves too? Maybe that’s the case….

Life is good for people like us. We get good education…. Culture and arts are okay too… What else does one require to be happy?  Still, I can see stress on everyone’s  face…. Why so?

Look at us,  we aren’t happy with the seasons too!!  We say, rain comes at an unexpected time.…No discipline to it. Be summer or winter, the wretched thing comes to disrupt us…Rain has become like men, unpredictable, moody…People say, “I'm alone. There is no one for me. ” Why the false claims of being lonely? Or is showing loneliness in vogue?

We like to read newspaper the first thing in morning…But is it necessary to say “There’s nothing to read in the papers” every five  minutes? Conservation of  forests, animals, is out of our sphere... “Cricketer’s marriage to actress, opposed by the bride’s farther” is considered childish. Reading about global warming is considered unnecessary. So, in this world, we’re habituated to the illusion of our own sweet uniqueness…. Criticizing everything else….

Why are we into the habit of believing that no one speaks absolute truth? If anyone asks, us our name, does the rhetoric ‘why?’ has to be used? If someone praises us, is being afraid of their intents  justified? And after all this, we have the guts to say shamelessly to our reflection, ‘I can’t really trust anyone.’

If a person is blunt, we call him arrogant, conceited…. On the other hand, if someone speaks with a proper planning, we brand the person as ‘cunning, politics playing for’. Is everything deceitful? When an orator praises someone, is he acerbic ‘Now look at the sucking up’ comment necessary?

Is every song, every coin a falsehood? Reality shows or life, do we have a reason to believe that everything is fixed? Every road has potholes of corruption, has already been accepted by us….

Politician means falsehood, police means bribery…. Artist equals addiction, and player means match fixing….. Youth means irresponsibility, trader means a cheat…Salesman is a thief, and truck drivers mean  AIDS……Promises are for breaking, and rules are never to be  followed... Temple means a theft of footwear and lectures are a big bore….. Do we need o believe in this?

ONE day , just for a day, let’s begin our morning by smiling at the ceiling…Let’s search for something interesting in the news…we know the person talking to us is lying, but let’s rest our head on his shoulder anyway......Perhaps, he’ll feel compelled to speak the truth ?? When passing from a kindergarten, let’s stop at its gates for a  few minutes, and rejoice in the nostalgia  of our own innocent, carefree, transparent laughter of our childhood.

Believe me, we can laugh, we can certainly speak the truth. But we’ve bonded ourselves with chains, chains which had no reason to exist…chains of  myths like singularity, uniqueness, injustice, unfair life… Do we need to die with such inhibitions? Death is the ultimate truth, but let’s live fully before the moment comes... AT LEAST ONCE!!

Again

Talking to my diary. Again. Should've been tired of this by now, but I'm out of options... again. I need to vent out how I feel, but no one's listening. The guy in the dorm right above me is playing Green Day songs, but it's a song I'm horribly familiar with, and I try to tune out the sound automatically. Again.

It's too cold in my room. Somewhere close by, an owl hoots, a dog howls morosely... The chill wind seeps through my body, freezing my bones. Again. My roomies are sitting together, laughing at bawdy jokes. I join in mechanically, without even hearing the joke. Again. They don't notice the slip in my composure or my fake laughter and carry on with more sick jokes. Again.

I throw a glance at my closet, noticing without any real interest that it has become more untidy than a doctor's handwriting. I check my emails and facebook notifications. Even before I check them out, I somehow know that there's nothing new in my inbox. My brain is numb, but I can't stop thinking while thinking about nothing at all.  Again.

By now, my roomies are hitting the sack, telling me that even abnormal human beings like me need sleep sometimes. I chuckle weakly at the old joke, but like every other piece of advice I've ever heard, I block it out before it even registers with my brain. Again.
By now it is 0430 and I'm still wide awake. Time has passed without me knowing, like it always does.  I try to sleep, but sleep behaves like a sulking child, never coming close, sticking its tongue out at me. I'm about to scream, rip my hair off and strangle everyone in my sight. Somehow, slowly, bit by bit, cell by cell, I reign myself in. Again.

A feeling of despair washes over me, ferociously trying to do me in, almost choking me with agony. I'd never thought that heartache was a physical feeling, not just a fanciful description. Tears slide down, wetting my beard. I've lost her. Again.